Hyde

Who is Hyde?

Hyde is a part of me. A separate persona deep within my psyche.

He is the devil on my shoulder.

We all have that voice in our heads, the one that whispers the things we would never say out loud. Those thoughts, the truly abhorrent and disgusting. Those which flash across our minds only for an instant and leave us feeling ashamed we are even capable.

For most these never comes to the surface. This evil voice is quelled and controlled by the overriding persona of the ego.

For most…

In me however, Hyde has developed. The voice has evolved into a separate, distinct and fully formed personality.

He is the primal, savage id operating on instinct.

He is chaos.

A seething cauldron of excitation. All the things I keep under control and hidden combined.

He is anger.

He is rage.

Hyde had always remained within until a particularly bad period of my life at the end of university. My emotional and mental state was unstable to say the least. I could find no way out of a downward spiral…

so Hyde saw his chance and took control.

Immediately I was changed.

Hyde is strong. Hyde is cruel.
Uncaring of anyone else he became a destructive and determined force. All my inhibitions, my conscience was gone and yet I was safe as this new character. I was merely observing the carnage Hyde created.

Hyde pulled me up out of the pit and shook me hard, He changed the way I saw the world forever.

For months Hyde sat in the driving seat.

He had pulled me out of Hell, but in return he had taken me somewhere strange, scary and new. I was changed forever.

I had grown hard and mean. Hyde’s personality had overwritten parts of my own.

I was stronger, more self-confident and focused than ever before. I was no longer the nice guy. Hyde had shown me that I didn’t have to be the hero of the story, I could be the villain.

And being the villain was so much more fun. It was was easy to get what I wanted. What I achieved was truly astounding. Nothing could hold me back.

In this time Hyde had fully formed himself. He had taken control and he had developed a taste…and he was getting worse.

Hyde did so much for me. He saved me from myself however he is not a force of good. He is a selfish animal, a beast.

Hyde is the bad guy.

He cares only for his own pleasure and he thrives one carnage and pain. He is not my friend.

When you see someone hurt themselves and for a second smile, he is laughing and drooling for more. When you want to buy a pretty girl a drink, he has darker ideas. When you trouble you walk away, he sees an opportunity to stir up more and release some rage.

He ignores society’s rules and restrictions and so he must be restrained.

As I’ve said Hyde is not a good person but does have attributes which can aid me if I’m careful. He is always roaring and thrashing within me wanting release, to take control again. The pressure builds and occasionally, as long as I’m careful, I let him off the leash. It is dangerous yes, but we all need to cut loose every so often. Not to mention I fear what may happen if I let the pressure increase too far.

The difficulty is in putting that leash back on and pushing him back in his cage.

So far I’ve been able but he’s not my dog on a leash, he’s a wolf, wanting blood.

Hyde’s Blog contains his thoughts his rants along with my thoughts on him and my condition.

The Manifesto is just that. A plan for the country, for the world if I get in charge. Or rather if Hyde does as these ideas are hardly acceptable in the eyes of anyone sane.

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